DON'T Get ‘Er Done

I know there are volumes of literature on preparing for a good death: tips on how to have the best possible death ever, how to get your accounts in order, how to manage your advanced directives, how to put all your passwords in one place. 

But I have seen many, many people die without any of these things done. Many died peacefully. Many did not. I have been with patients as they were within a week of dying and actively making to-do lists, trying to get their business done and their bills paid, their wills updated… and they die with the anxiety of not finishing everything.

Sometimes -- oftentimes -- you cannot get it all done. 

Some people say you die the way you live. I am a list maker and taskmaster. I get shivers when I think about my own large notebook with my long list of incomplete tasks at the bedside of my own dying self. I will likely die forgetting which bank I belong to and where my password list is. I will definitely die without my baby albums completed; the photos will remain in their mismatched boxes, and my kids will have to sort through them and decide what to keep and what to give away. 

We live in this crazy world that puts so much pressure on people to complete their tasks before they die. If a recent terminal diagnosis is suddenly consuming your life with medical visits, fatigue, and nausea, do what you can. Ask for help. Where do you want to place your energy? Maybe you would like to write a letter to your grandbaby, visit with your family, or sit in the sunshine? Here is a good website with information on navigating this crisis time.

I want people to simply enjoy their last weeks on earth, not be consumed with the red tape of our crazy little world. You are not alone if your affairs are not in order. And it is okay. Our time is finite. Period. Please don’t waste your precious last bits of energy on paperwork.